Why

This pain, the cascading struggles, endless unanswered whys
is it well worth a future exchange?

Anticipating a fading promise...
at least it sure seems so.

I certainly didn't want this!
...but He does.

His reason?
refining, purifying, freedom!

I groan and grieve
like a kidney stone, this too shall pass

Hope in hopelessness
anxious patience

Reaching for wisps of relief
maybe a distraction, but no comfort at all

People, things and stuff
what a disappointment!

A promised companion groans with me
He intercedes... at His discretion
A Comforter unseen

Romans 8:18-27

Some trust in money or things.
Some trust in power and armies.
Some trust only a few or even just one.
Some trust their own schemes and hatred
But do I truly trust God?

Do I trust that every good and perfect gift comes from God?
Do I trust that in God there is absolutely nothing dark?
And that will never change?

Do I trust that God exists? Of course!
But do I also trust that He responds with perfect good???
Do I trust that His love is unfailing?

You cannot take heart in David’s despair,
If you do not echo David’s declarations of trust.
Otherwise, God will say to you like Moses did to the Israelites,
“But in all this, you did not trust the Lord your God.”

How wise, how healthy is it if the only one I trust is myself?
Isn’t that an incredibly arrogant ego (and foolish ego)?
Without trust outside ourselves,
it is impossible to be healthy and happy.

Psalm 22:9 says God intended us to trust from the start of life,
“Yet You are He who brought me forth from the womb;
You made me trust when upon my mother’s breasts.”
Who or what suffocated that trust?
Why do you allow it to continue?

How succinct is Psalm 40:4,
“How blessed is the man who has made the LORD his trust,
And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood.”
I can arrogantly trust in myself.
I can live in deception.
Or, I can walk in the only true place of blessing.

If I do not trust God, I trust in a lie.