Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Demise of Marriage

There is no question that at least in the modern western world, marriage is not just deteriorating, but also diminishing. One argument for same-sex marriage is the breakdown of hetero-sexual marriage. I am not sure how that legitimizes a redefinition of marriage, but it is still made.

It is also debated whether through God or evolution, marriage came to be a relationship for family to exist in a healthy way.

There is no honest question but that major religions agree that marriage is a divine creation between a male and a female. Government involvement has been simply a consequential confirmation to facilitate certain elements (Mainly the safe raising of children.) of a sacred union.

Evolution presents a whole different scenario. If gender and marriage evolved to facilitate child rearing, it can also evolve to something else when marriage becomes unnecessary. A relevant example would be the bee colony. A queen bee reproduces, female worker bees facilitate the hive, and male drone bees simply fertilize the eggs and then die. I assert that this could be a very real possibility for human evolution.

Until recently in the western world, and still in most of the rest of the world, the roles of husband and wife were/are very clear. The male is the head of the home (Doesn't that push buttons now...), who provides for and protects his wife and children. The wife manages the home and children.

Now, the glass ceiling has been shattered (Or maybe broken...). Simply put, anything a man can do, a woman does. As Jennifer Aniston recently put it, that includes birthing and raising children without a male. In addition, the father of that child has absolutely no say in whether his child is even birthed or aborted. He is at a disadvantage in the case of a divorce, especially regarding custody of the children. In job settings, any minority participants are many times given an advantage.

The question can reasonably be asked now,“What are men good for?”“What needful purpose do they offer?” We have gone from John Wayne to Charlie Sheen. Self care for many males is the only responsibility they have. Could that be a part of why men are most often portrayed in the media as 'jerks'? Or even the breakdown of gender distinction?

This change is even more profound for women. While men have had purpose removed (Think about that...), women have had full responsibility loaded on their shoulders. Makes me wonder if evolution has had time to keep up!

Marriage is caught in this change. What was once a crystal clear identity and purpose is now weak and fuzzy. Is it any wonder a change of definition is pursued?

I have not made any judgments about this change so far. But that question begs to be asked. Think of the social experiment we have engaged in! Have we really thought out the implications (For men, women, children, social structure, etc.)? Has this 'progress' been beneficial so far? Does history give us a example (Amazon women?)? Have we considered where it will end?

Friday, November 12, 2010

Gay Marriage

Same-sex relationships are not the same as a heterosexual marriage.

I don't think there has ever been a person who is not sexually broken in some way.

That brokenness may be a genetic deformity (born that way), the result of twisted modeling from within the family or outside, abuse/molestation, improper initial sexual experiences or choice (sex outside of marriage in any form).

However, nature, culture, history and religion all point very consistently to a norm. If not, this debate would have been over long ago.

Casting stones does no one any good, nor does trying to make the abnormal normal.

I would suggest our greatest challenge is not each other, but honestly facing and dealing with our own brokenness.

Scientist are not sure why two genders evolved, but it makes sense that one gender focused on protection and provision, while the other on reproduction and nurture.

It is interesting that the Bible indicates just that; Adam was created, and out of that single gender Eve was created. Both had unique purposes that brought 'completion' or 'oneness' when re-united in marriage.

It is not only the perfect setting for reproduction and the nurture of young. It is also a relationship where both genders find 'balance' in a number of ways through an exclusive, life-long commitment in marriage.

One obvious example is the physical expression of oneness in sexual union between a man and a woman. Male and female were made for each other sexually. Homosexual union does not naturally fit.

Same-sex relationships can certainly have genuine love and many other qualities. But it is impossible to match the diversity and balance of heterosexual marriage.

Same-sex relationships have every right to be defined in specific ways. They should also have the necessary protections and justice. However, to provide that within the scope of the marriage relationship is not right or logical.

I have no desire to make you defensive or offend you. I hope we can debate these issues in a polite and fair way. I know I have much more to learn, but this is what I have come to so far.

You are right that marriages in the western world have taken a downward turn in the last few decades. I have some thoughts about that for later.

In the historical context I was speaking of, marriages have been between a man and a woman across cultures, religions and human history.

You are right that homosexuality has always been around and is present in the animal kingdom. But in neither places to a great degree. Among animals there is often a extenuating circumstance.

Among humans it has been and is more often rejected as 'abnormal' or worse. If you re-consider what I listed as possible causes of homosexuality, only one or maybe two would be a choice.

There is certainly a broad genetic variation between masculinity and femininity expressed in genders. However, there is a point where a unusual genetic variation becomes abnormal. I do not say that in a moral sense at all.

The influences of society and family, abuse or molestation also must have a factor in our sexuality. Those are also amoral factors on the part of the recipient.

Our initial sexual experience may be a choice, and therefore possibly unwise. Some people experiment sexually later in life as the Apostle Paul spoke about in Romans. Those are choices.

As I stated earlier, I think we are all sexually broken. God does not excuse us because of that. We are held accountable for how we handle our brokenness.

My experience has been to tightly hold on to two truths. First,'those who do such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God'. And second,'if we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive us'.

I have had years of daily mercy, and all to brief periods of victory. I try to keep the perspective that this present time is a micro-second in the span of eternity. This is where God has led me so far.

Sometimes our battle to convince others is nothing more than a battle to convince ourselves.

I suspect you have wrestled longer than Jacob. Sometimes our measure is how hard we fight, but sometimes it is who we surrender to.

I found a little known book by C.S. Lewis to be profound; 'Till We Have Faces'.

My best wishes to you!